An open letter to my beloved sister, friend and confidante, Olasimi Akindele-Odunmbaku, on what would have been her 60th birthday.
My Dearest Aunty Sinmi,
It is almost midnight, and your 60th birthday is nearly over. I have spent practically the entire day trying to put my thoughts into words, trying to find the courage to write this message to you, but every time I attempted to begin, the words simply would not come. I have carried so many emotions throughout the day, so many memories and so many things I wish I had told you while you were still here. Now, with barely an hour left before the day ends, I am finally sitting down to write to you.
I do not even know whether you can see this or whether messages like this ever reach those who have gone ahead of us. Perhaps it is too late for you to read my words. Perhaps you already know everything I am about to say. But I need to put it out there, not only because I want you to know how much you meant to me, but because I want the world to know how good you were to me, how generously you loved and how beautifully you showed up in my life.
Aunty Sinmi, today you would have been 60 years old. Can you imagine? We had planned this day together. We had talked about your thanksgiving service, the beautiful little reception and all the lovely things we wanted to do to celebrate this milestone. I can almost picture you enjoying every moment, surrounded by family, friends, laughter, prayers and the people who loved you. We had such beautiful plans, my sister, and I genuinely believed we would see them through.
But on 25 June 2026, you left us, almost four months before the birthday we were so eagerly anticipating. Just like that, all our plans came to an end. The thanksgiving we had imagined, the reception we had discussed and the celebration we were looking forward to became things we would never experience together. I still find it difficult to reconcile the plans we made with the reality that you are no longer here.
Perhaps that is why I have struggled to write this all day. How do I wish you a happy birthday when I cannot call you to hear your voice? How do I celebrate you when the person I want to celebrate is no longer physically present? And how do I begin to thank someone for a lifetime of friendship when I know that no amount of writing could possibly capture everything she did?
Nevertheless, I cannot allow today to pass without saying what has been sitting so heavily on my heart. So, Aunty Sinmi, wherever you are, please receive this as my birthday letter to you, my celebration of your life and my long-overdue expression of gratitude.
Thank You for Being My Sister and Fighting My Battles
Aunty Sinmi, I want to thank you first for the gift of your friendship. You were never just someone I knew or occasionally spent time with. You became my sister, my confidante, my adviser and one of those rare people whose presence made difficult situations easier to bear. You were someone I could trust, someone I could confide in and someone who understood that genuine friendship required more than kind words.
I especially want to thank you for standing by me when I was pregnant with my first child, my daughter. You know everything that happened during that period, and you know the battles we faced. When people tried to intimidate me and make life difficult for me, you refused to stand aside and watch. You fought my battles with a determination that still moves me whenever I remember it. You confronted situations, challenged people who sought to intimidate me and made it clear that I was not alone.
You did not have to do any of that, Aunty Sinmi. Those battles were not yours to fight, yet you took them on because you loved me. You became my defender when I was vulnerable and my strength when circumstances threatened to overwhelm me. You waged war against those who tried to make me feel powerless, and you did so without asking what you stood to gain.
I hope you knew how much your courage meant to me. I hope you knew that every time you stood up for me, you gave me something far more valuable than temporary protection. You gave me the assurance that someone genuinely cared about what happened to me. Your support did not end with my pregnancy or the birth of my daughter. You remained present in my life, standing beside me through the years and demonstrating again and again that your loyalty was never conditional.
Thank you, my sister, for fighting battles you could easily have walked away from. Thank you for defending me, protecting me and refusing to allow intimidation to silence me.
Thank You for Loving My Children and Opening Your Home to Them
Aunty Sinmi, how can I ever adequately thank you for the love you showed my children? You did not merely welcome them because they were mine. You genuinely made them part of your life. Your home became their second home, a place they could visit and feel comfortable, accepted and loved.
You participated in their lives in ways that mattered, and you gave them memories that will remain part of their childhood and family history. As a mother, I cannot begin to explain what it means to know that there is someone else who will open her door to your children and make them feel that they belong.
You were that person for my boys, and I want to thank you for every kindness, every welcome and every act of love you extended towards them. Thank you for being part of their growing-up years and for giving them another place where they could always feel at home.
Thank You for Opening Doors and Sharing Everything You Knew
I also want to thank you for your business wisdom and your remarkable generosity with information. You were always willing to share what you knew, and I cannot count how many times you told me about an opportunity, introduced me to an idea or explained where I could find something I needed.
You would tell me where you bought things, where I could get better deals, whom I could speak to and what I could do differently. You shared your contacts, your experiences and your business insights so freely that sometimes I wonder whether I fully appreciated just how much knowledge you were giving me.
You were never afraid of opening doors for someone else. You did not behave as though another person’s progress would diminish your own success. You wanted me to succeed, and whenever you saw an opportunity to make something easier for me, you took it.
Thank you for all those conversations, the practical advice, the recommendations and the introductions. Thank you for thinking of me when opportunities arose and for never making me feel that I was asking for too much. I learnt so much from you, my sister, and I will always treasure the wisdom you shared.
Thank You for Making My Celebrations Beautiful
Oh, Aunty Sinmi, where do I even begin with this one? You know how many events we have done together, how many award ceremonies, launches and celebrations you decorated for me. Whenever I had an occasion, you would somehow make yourself available, bringing your creativity, your experience and sometimes your entire team to ensure everything looked beautiful.
And you would not charge me a dime. I often wonder whether I thanked you enough for that. You were offering a professional service that had real value. You had materials to purchase, people to organise and time to sacrifice, yet you repeatedly chose to give those things to me as a gift of love.
I remember my mother’s 80th birthday celebration in 2013. You were there, decorating the hall and helping us create a beautiful occasion for her milestone birthday. You brought the same generosity and commitment that you brought to so many other events in my life.
But, Aunty Sinmi, there is one particular occasion I will never, ever forget.
When my brother died in 2022, I was grieving and dealing with everything that comes with losing someone so close. Without making a fuss or placing another burden on me, you took responsibility for decorating the church venue. You went there with your entire team, and before we even arrived, you had already completed everything.
I still remember that act of kindness with so much emotion. While I was mourning my brother, you were quietly making sure the venue where we would honour him looked beautiful and dignified. You did not wait to be paid. You did not present me with an invoice. You simply did what needed to be done because you loved me.
Do you know what that meant, Aunty Sinmi? You lifted a burden from my shoulders at a time when I barely had the emotional strength to carry the ones already there. You gave me peace of mind during one of the most painful periods of my life, and you did it so naturally, almost as though it was nothing. But it was not nothing, my sister. It was everything.
Thank you for that extraordinary kindness. Thank you for giving so much of yourself without expecting anything in return. Thank you for making beautiful occasions even more beautiful and for bringing comfort and dignity to one of the saddest occasions of my life.
Thank You for Those Four Flights of Stairs in London
There is another memory I have been carrying in my heart today, and I cannot write this letter without mentioning it. The last time we were together in London, you insisted on coming to visit me because I had moved to another home. You said you needed to know where I was living, and nothing was going to stop you.
My flat was four flights of stairs up, but that did not discourage you. You climbed every one of those stairs and came to spend the night with me, simply because you wanted to see where I had moved to and spend time together.
I smile whenever I remember your determination, but today that memory also brings tears to my eyes. I did not know then how precious that visit would become. I did not know that one day I would sit here wishing I could have just one more evening with you, one more conversation or another opportunity to laugh about the things we used to laugh about.
Thank you for making that effort, Aunty Sinmi. Thank you for caring enough to visit, regardless of the inconvenience. Thank you for showing me through the simplest actions that our friendship was important to you.
I wish I could turn back the clock and experience that evening again. I would probably spend less time worrying about ordinary things and more time simply appreciating the fact that you were there.
Thank You for Every Prayer You Prayed for Me
Aunty Sinmi, you were such a prayer warrior. Whenever you had a dream, heard something troubling or felt concerned about a situation, you would immediately swing into action spiritually. You would pray, encourage prayer and make sure that whatever burden was on your mind was taken before God.
You were fiercely protective of the people you loved, not only through your actions but also through your faith. You did not take spiritual matters lightly, and you were always ready to stand in prayer for someone facing difficulties.
I want to thank you for every prayer you offered on my behalf, including the ones I knew nothing about. Thank you for remembering me in your conversations with God, for seeking divine protection for me and for believing that prayer could make a difference in the lives of those you cared about.
There are so many things I may never know about the sacrifices you made for me, but I know enough to understand that I was blessed to have you in my corner.
If Only I Had Known We Would Not Have More Time
My sister, as I sit here writing these words so close to midnight, I keep thinking about the things we leave unsaid because we assume there will always be another opportunity. We plan the next meeting, the next celebration, the next visit and the next telephone conversation without imagining that life might suddenly take away the person with whom we made those plans.
We planned your 60th birthday with such confidence. I genuinely believed we would be celebrating together today, and perhaps that is why accepting your absence has been so difficult. I have spent the entire day trying to find the right words because I wanted this tribute to reflect how much you meant to me, but no words seem sufficient.
If I had known that our time together would be cut short, I would have thanked you more often. I would have reminded you how much I appreciated the battles you fought for me, the love you showed my children and the countless ways you supported my dreams. I would have told you repeatedly that your friendship was one of the blessings of my life.
But perhaps you already knew. Perhaps the years we spent together, the trust we shared and the bond between us communicated some of these feelings even when I did not say them aloud.
Even so, I need to say them now, because gratitude deserves to be expressed, and the kindness you showed me deserves to be remembered.
Please Watch Over the Family You Loved
Aunty Sinmi, wherever you are tonight, I want you to know that my thoughts are also with your husband, your children and the entire family you left behind. I know that the absence of a wife, mother and beloved family member is something that no amount of comforting words can fully replace.
I pray that God will continue to strengthen and uphold them, that He will comfort them in their difficult moments and that the beautiful memories you created together will remain a source of peace and encouragement.
And my sister, if it is truly possible that those who leave this world become angels, and if you have become one of those angels, please do not forget the people you loved so dearly. Watch over your children, guard and guide them as they navigate life without your physical presence, and remember your husband and your entire family.
If heaven allows you to look down upon us, I hope you can see how much love surrounds your memory. I hope you can see how deeply you are missed and how many lives were made better because you were part of them.
Above all, I pray that you are resting peacefully in God’s presence, enjoying a heavenly celebration far more beautiful than the one we had planned for you here.
Before Midnight, Let Me Say Thank You One More Time
Aunty Sinmi, the day is almost over now, and I still feel that I have barely begun to express everything in my heart. There are so many more stories I could tell, so many memories I could share and so many little acts of love that deserve their own pages.
Perhaps I will write about them another day. Perhaps the memories will continue to come to me unexpectedly, as they often do when we lose someone who has been such an important part of our lives.
For tonight, I simply want to thank you for the gift of your presence in my life. Thank you for choosing to be my sister, for being my confidante and for loving me in ways that were practical, courageous and sincere. Thank you for defending me when I was vulnerable, for standing beside me through difficult seasons and for reminding me that I did not have to face every battle alone.
Thank you for loving my children, welcoming them into your home, opening doors for me and sharing your wisdom so generously. Thank you for every event you decorated, every celebration you made beautiful and every burden you quietly helped me carry.
Thank you for the prayers, the conversations, the laughter, the visits and the memories. Thank you for coming to see me in London and climbing those four flights of stairs. Thank you for the extraordinary kindness you showed when my brother died and for the countless other occasions when you put my needs before your own convenience.
Most importantly, thank you for being you.
I do not know whether you can read this letter, Aunty Sinmi, or whether these words can reach you wherever you are. But I am putting them out into the world because I want people to know the kind of woman you were to me. I want them to know that you were someone who gave without counting the cost, who defended the people she loved and who understood that friendship was something to be demonstrated, not merely spoken about.
You may not be here to receive our hugs, birthday wishes or the celebration we had planned, but you will never be absent from the special place you occupy in my heart. That place belongs to you, and nothing will ever change that.
Happy 60th birthday in heaven, my beautiful Aunty Sinmi. I hope the angels are celebrating you, and I pray that one day, by God’s grace, we will meet again.
Until then, may God be with us, comfort those you left behind and keep your memory alive in all our hearts.
I love you, Aunty Sinmi. I will always love you, and I will carry you in my heart until eternity.
Forever your sister,
Titilola Aboyade-Cole
In loving memory of Olasimi Akindele-Odunmbaku, 25 June 2026.
